I’m going to stab my gut, give me advice NOW!

GodIsBoredom

I like the Gore
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4
1. I’m not a person to become delusional, but I am unfortunately currently a bit...delusional, having hallucinations and OCD that triggers the hallucinations.
I am suicidal.
2. Everytime I take out the knife to stab myself I start to get OCD where I become delusional about my stomach. I either feel 0% pain, or the pain starts to accelerate towards an abnormal fake level which I KNOW is a hallucination of pain because it never felt that way when I was younger and touching the tip of a knife against my stomach.

so I made only some dents into my stomach out of fear of the following hallucinations:
1. pain removed
2. pain exaggerated

there is no in between!

please help me find the in-between.

Here is my plan:
1. Take out the knife
2. Stab myself with 2 stabs
3. Throw knife

F8716A31-90CF-4D69-A539-612E1CFC1898.png
 
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